Sometimes Dad

Sometimes I beg for the pain to dull

Sometimes I forget, and wait for your call

Sometimes I ask Him why it hurts so bad

Sometimes I'm glowing from the memories I have

Sometimes I long for memories unmade

Sometimes the children show what you gave

Sometimes I work on the things you left behind

Sometimes I think your advice I'll find

Sometimes I ache for you and I just want to die

Sometimes I smile knowing I'll see you in the sky

When He comes in the clouds to take me home

And forever we'll worship Him alone

Together.

Sometimes...

R.I.P. Mr. Hopper

I'm sorry for the lack of posts. End of the school yr and "what not" has me crazed. Lots on my mind however, in the mean time (meaning until I have time to post what's on my mind), thought it fitting to post this. One of the best actors of his and my time, Dennis Hopper, just passed away. I found this video of him (very early on in his career) reciting one of my favorite poems,  Rudyard Kipling's "If". 

I'd like to post this in the wake of his sleep. It's equally as fitting, that we also remember this Memorial Day weekend, all those who served our country and are too, sleeping.... including Dad, who loved Hopper. Would've gotten a kick out of this video.

Peace and Blessings to you and yours, ~ Andrea

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Easter Thoughts

Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a noble thing for Me. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have Me.  By pouring this fragrant oil on My body, she has prepared Me for burial...


Easter Sunday... Leave it to me to bring the morbid into play on the celebration of the most magnificent and glorious day in the history of the universe. Alas! I am more than capable! ( I did post the lighter side of Easter Sunday below this post).

Easter Sunday without Dad. We decided that this would be the best day to place Dad's ashes under the pine tree.


Some of you know that this is what he had asked for "... under the middle pine tree... It'll be neat." I don't know, part of me thought that perhaps he chose to put his ashes there because he wanted assurance that I'd never sell the house... The other part of me thinks it more likely that he wanted his ashes being laid in a place that he loved, Pucci Land. It's so bizarre out there in "The Yard". His handy work is literally on every inch of the property, he's everywhere, but he's not here at all.

With his children and grandchildren walking and playing, and talking, all around the memory of him.... This thought made him smile.  Two of my boys had said earlier that day (before the ashes were put there) that they smelled their Pappy ... "Like Pappy, a sweet sugary smell." All of them were found praying and intermittently talking to their Pappy. What they told me he said... and what they said to him, brought me to tears.

As I pondered the work of The Cross this past week, I thought again of the paralles... our earthly husbands, and our earthly fathers. The picture of Jesus, and our Father in Heaven represented in human form so we can understand and glorify Him through this very temporal, yet all important roll(s). I read the scripture above, and thought of how our friend Moira had emailed while Dad was in the hospital saying to cherish every moment with my Dad... to leave everything that was not absolutely necessary, and spend that time with him. This is what we all did. It brings me great comfort  knowing that my father spent an entire month in the hospital, and was alone for less than a quarter of a day, the entire time. 

Easter Last Year (2009)

 It was hard, particularly on Mom and Jimmy who did the majority of the all nighters. Was it a "sacrifice"... not for us. I can't count the times that Dad, while barely able to talk, in unimaginable pain, would look at us and ask "What could be better than this?" We had him there with us... he had us there with him.

 So, departing quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, they ran to tell His disciples the news. Just then Jesus met them and said, "Good morning!" They came up, took hold of His feet, and worshiped Him.


When I read this Scripture earlier in the week, I thought about my Dad's feet. The first night he was there in the hospital, Mary asked him if he wanted a foot rub. Of course he did. Mary rubbed one foot, I the other. Every time I or Mary, or both of us came to see Dad, we would rub his feet... he just loved it. I have longed to just sit and rub his feet, it was truly an honor. I thought of "The Two Mary's" mentioned above... seeing their risen Savior. The first thing they did was to take hold of his feet and worship Him.  Of course they did!!! The most natural thing for those women who adored and honored their Lord, was to fall to the ground at His feet to worship Him!!  I didn't worship, nor would I worship my Dad, but I tried to honor him (not in my teens... at all, but let's not think about that now =) ).


As I counseled the boys yesterday in their grief, I told them that what they were doing, cleaning up the trash from the street, picking up the sticks in the yard, keeping their outside toys away, cutting the grass... these are all things that were important to Pappy. By doing these things while he's gone, they're honoring him... honoring his memory. Pappy would be so proud! This thought put a huge smile on all of their faces, and they began to talk about other ways to honor Pappy's memory.

While Pappy was here, and we knew his time was short, we spent as much time with him as possible... whatever the "cost". Now that he is gone, we honor him by continuing to do the things that were important to him. Is there a need to type out the message I got from the Lord this past Easter week? I long to grab hold of my Savior's feet and to worship Him. I can't now, I'll have to wait. However, I can honor Him by doing the things that are important to Him. I can live a life that He is proud of.  Unlike my Dad who is asleep until the Lord raises him up, my Jesus, rose from the grave and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He can see me when I honor Him.  My prayer is that I will live a life that honors Him... I don't at the moment... to me, not at all.  Here I am, honoring my earthly father as he sleeps and is unaware, while I dishonor my King who took on my sin and shame, though He knew no sin. 


I thank Him for His word to me this past week... and still through my Father's death. Now I pray that my heart would be made so that the overflow would be a life that honors a Saviour worthy of ALL honor.

Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Easter 2010

Teodata and Aunt Mary should have called each other... they wore the same outfit (GASP!)

Jackie and Teodata talked ahead of time...

This was Santino the entire time... overwhelmed to the point of being quiet and still... wonders will never cease. He loves his uncle Jimmy!

Then there was Teodata's "firm attachment" to her cousin T. J.

But can you blame her? Look at that FACE!!! His Mommy Jill, appears to have the same fondness for T.J. ... only she gives him the breathing room Teodata doesn't care to give.

 

The babies and all the kiddos (all 11 of them) had a great time playing together

 

 

Our Handsome boys

And this is where poor Elmo ended up on Easter... strung up to the side of the house... when the boys play any games involving "Bad Guys" they're not allowed to make another person a bad guy, so Elmo is always the enemy... no different on Easter.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEODATA!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANTINO!!!

A Beautiful Life...

One year ago and brand new to the world....



Forgive our voices. Mary is the only person that can sing... maybe you should turn the sound down...

Happy Birthday Miss Teodata!!!



Again, shrill voice warning.
Happy Birthday Santino!!!

Down Here Under the Rainbow

I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.

I love rainbows. I mean really love them. I look for them every time it rains... and in The Burgh that's quite a bit, only you need to have some sunlight to make a rainbow, and that we don't have ... much of. So when I see a rainbow, it makes it all the more thrilling.

We have trinkets and jewelry, even artwork with Scripture written on it to remind us of God's promise(s) to us, but a rainbow? God made the rainbow as a remembrance. He looks upon it and remembers. He doesn't go to the Christian bookstore and buy a WWJD bracelet and hand it to us. He doesn't buy us cross neclaces... He set(s) this bow in the sky... in the sky! He doesn't do it all of the time though does He? No. Doesn't that make it all the more important... "special" for us?

As some of you may know, my beautiful sister Mary has Lupus. As with many serious autoimmune disorders, the Lupus did not come alone. Since her original diagnoses, she has had three more serious disorders tacked on. You'd never know it to look at her... She's the TV Girl... the model... and she doesn't let it hold her back from doing, doing, doing. 

A few days ago we received the news out loud, she has yet another very serious autoimmune disorder. This is one that we all supposed she had had, it's just that no doctor had ever said it out loud. It took Mary all of the 20 minute car ride home to process it, and move on.  She went for a run when she go home... She's upset, we all are, but there's nothing to do, so she's living...taking advantage of the time when she feels well enough to get things done. Truly, if I were her, I would have sat down and gave up 10 yrs ago... I don't know how she does it.

In the mean-time, Adam left for work early yesterday morning and not two minutes later, he called.  He knows how I love rainbows. He also never gets to see them when I do (perhaps he's wondered if I'm make-believing them?). He was excited to tell me about this one. From his vantage point, the rainbow appreared to be over our neighbor's house, but when I looked at it, Mary and Aaron's house sat directly under it... like the Lord painted it for me. I ran to grab my camera but when I came out it was pouring down rain. It was gone that fast.  I knew however, that God had placed that bow over Mary's house to show me His promise that she is a child of His.  He will take care of her. I love rainbows. I love the Lord for making them and sharing them with us.

 

and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.

On With It

Sitting down to brood over our sorrows, the darkness deepens about us and creeps into our heart, and our strength changes to weakness. But, if we turn away from the gloom, and take up the tasks and duties to which God calls us, the light will come again, and we shall grow stronger.
 ~ J.R. Miller